If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
