How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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