New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
