I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize