Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
