Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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