she was so not down for the gang bang
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
