my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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