Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Send help, water and tortillas.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
