I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
