He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
