everyone is single if you try hard enough
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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