So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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