I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
