Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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