he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize