Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
