Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think I won the penis lottery.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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