we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
