dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
