She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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