don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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