he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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