Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
