Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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