its not stalking. its research.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
