i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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