it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
