Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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