Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
