Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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