Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
