D3 body, D1 cock
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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