Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i dont even know how to be here
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
