best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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