That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
