tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
