If i come over, it means nothing
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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