video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
This is the high leading the old right now
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
