I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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