i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
