sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
