Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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