I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
