My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
