yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize