i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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