And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
