i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
