I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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