Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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