We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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