Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
