I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
