anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
