Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
