I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
