we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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