i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
