How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
