im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
