I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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