The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
