when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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