I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
