dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
