i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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