I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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