her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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