Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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