Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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