The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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