oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
